Whether it’s due to illness; teething; milestones, or even just because you’re rung out and exhausted, and finding it impossible to switch off and sleep, some days/weeks are just intensely tough when raising children.
When these times strike, it’s easy to forget that it is all a phase and that it will pass.
It can feel like it’s been difficult forever, and there is no end in sight.
It can be hard, but trusting that motherhood is a constantly evolving stage, and our children are never the same for long, can help to give a sense of perspective.
Equally, appreciating that an easy phase can just as likely be followed by a tricky phase, helps us to cherish moments, instead of taking them for granted.
So, when the going gets rough, hold in mind the following:
• A bad day doesn’t make for a bad life.
Even in the worst of days there are still ample things to be grateful for. Hopefully these can make you smile.
• Try to keep a sense of humour about the chaos.
One day, you really will laugh about these days – and likely shudder at the thought of them too.
• Ask for help. You’re only human.
Recognising when we are overwhelmed and should ask for help, is something we mothers need to get used to. It takes a village, remember. Help, in any form, be it practical (like having a relative or friend babysit for an hour so you can get a breather); or even so that you can go to see the doctor because the low mood isn’t shifting, and you’re finding it hard to enjoy things in general; does not make you a bad mum. Never.
• Celebrate all of the things that you have managed to do.
Even if it is just the bare minimum, such as: getting up, getting dressed, and kept everyone fed… well done!
Remember we ALL need down days.
We all need to rest.
If you don’t deny this basic need, then you should find that you’re back to yourself in no time.
If, however, the dark just isn’t budging.
Speak to someone you trust, and also your doctor.
Things don’t have to be horrendous.
If this is how it feels, get help!