I trawled my #brelfies for something that could sum up my breastfeeding journey to celebrate #nationalbreastfeedingweek.
To be honest I screen-grabbed about twenty, but this one kept sticking out.
I think it’s the blank expression, the staring into space, so unaware of the magic and connection in this moment.
Because you know what?
Breastfeeding isn’t all magic and all connection.
It’s hard work and digging deep and giving your body away when you don’t want to, and surrendering daily and learning lessons and loving someone else more than yourself… and it’s beautiful and brutal and some days, you’re so ungrateful for it. It means nothing.
It means I give in, I’m yours; I’m a prisoner; I’m trapped; I want out, but I don’t.
It means I love you, I hate you, I don’t know you.
It means every human emotion there is.
It means 11pm, 1am, 1.15am and 4am…it means WhatsApps in the dark and lying on my side til my ribs ache, and no sex or feeling sexy. But feeling sexy and loving my body and hating my boobs – and it’s everything you shouldn’t think and nothing you should.
It’s motherhood 💕
To read more of Jenna’ writing and to find out about her doula services and Surrey-based yoga classes, please visit her blog.
Jenna’s Insta handle is @theminimalistdoula