With Mother’s Day just around the corner, we encourage you to (just maybe) do something a bit different this year.
And that’s: take the day for yourselves.
Yes, you, mother in the trenches; knee-deep in motherhood.
Mother’s day is actually for you and your little ones!
Did you know that?
It’s for your children to celebrate you.
With respect and gratitude, it’s not for the dear grandmothers, as such.
At least not every year.
Wonderful grandmothers, though they be priceless and adored, have had their time to be celebrated as mothers.
They should have many beautiful memories of the things you did as a child, and continue to do now, to show appreciation and gratitude for their love, guidance and life-giving selves.
Granted, finding the strength to shift the focus away from them, from your mother(s) and onto yourself, can seem strange.
Now, we are not suggesting that you leave grandmothers out or pretend that they don’t exist.
Thank them wholeheartedly.
Especially the grandmothers that pretty much mother their grandchildren with their practical support on tap. They’re amazing, and enable families to function and pay the mortgage.
By all means, spend the day together if it brings you joy and replenishes your soul.
But, if it doesn’t massively because, in reality, it’s too much to juggle with everything else, and it feels like just another chore; another person to consider when you barely get time to sit on the toilet in peace.
Then know that you don’t have to.
You don’t have to be perfect.
Don’t play the game.
Don’t let the BS guilt that gets applied to mothers be applied to you.
You don’t have to sacrifice yourself for all of the above.
So, if this is what you’ve been doing, mama, since the year dot: putting everyone else first, then it’s ok to say: no, not this time.
This year, we are having a quiet, private one. Maybe a day out. Or even a day in bed!
What we are saying really is: please do not feel pressurised to mother your mothers, and make the day special for them.
Not at the cost of your own wellness and wellbeing.
What about allowing space for your own special memories of your little ones thanking you with their cute gestures.
It doesn’t make you a terrible daughter/daughter-in-law. Or wife, for that matter.
And if others think that, then so what?
First and foremost, you are now a mother.
Which is exactly the point.
You do enough. Every. Single. Day.
See relatives the day before. Send a nice card. Treat them for all the help they give. And by all means, share the Sunday together, if you wish.
But, it’s absolutely ok to let Mothering Sunday be about you!
Do not feel guilty. Do not feel unworthy. Do not feel selfish.
It is anything but selfish to not have yourself worked into the ground and worn out any more than you need to be.
Because, guess who suffers in that situation?
Your children and your partner.
As well as yourself.
So, it’s not selfish to prioritise your own family unit. Of which you are the centre.
The only people who will mind will be the ones who gain from your selflessness.
Take the time to feel your children’s and your husband’s/partner’s gratitude. Just be together.
This is about you guys now. Your family.
And if, for just once (or even if it suits you every year) instead of worrying about how to see both grandmothers, and keep everybody else happy?
Instead, work out how to make your little team happy, and how your children can make the day special for you.
You can thank us later.